Demons
by Empty Silver Lining
Summary: Sometimes, the demons are inside your own head... Happens soon after Sharon became Eques's Contractor, One shot


Sooo, Pandora Hearts and its characters are not mine, they belong to the wonderful Jun Mochizuki.

This fic is a translation from French, it may have some mistakes, if you see something please let me know and I'll correct it. Enjoy~!

At one of the windows of the Rainsworth's manor, a white-haired shadow appeared suddenly. Xerxes Break opened the window and entered like a thief, lollipop in his mouth.

-Ah, Miss Sharon! There you are! said the Hatter despite the candy between his teeth.

He threw a glance to the girl at her desk, where the only source of light could be seen, to discover that the lady was fast asleep; an open book under her head looked like quite the uncomfortable pillow. A small smile made its way to his lips as he went to close his improvised door. Ah, kids these days! They'll get wrinkles before their age if they exhaust themselves so often!

With silent steps, Break went to add oil to the empty lamps, throwing out what was left of his lollipop as he made his way back to the desk where Sharon slept. With these new lights, the knight could now distinguish the lady's face.

She was quite cute, asleep like that, thought the man as he moved the candle away from her. Cute and innocent like a kid, even though she was much older. It was a real shame, how her body stood frozen in time; she would have made a splendid woman, as beautiful as her mother years ago.

Memories of Lady Shelly always made Break feel a surge of nostalgic affection. When he let his spirit wander into thoughts of the duchess, he could feel himself get into a state of calm he never could attain in other ways. It wasn't surprising, Break supposed as he remembered her touch, her voice, her expressions… it was her who's been able to make him human again.

With the help of Sharon and Reim, of course! But it was Lady Shelly who tamed the hurting beast he had become, and for that, he could not be anything but grateful.

A little smile played on the man's lips; the Lady didn't visit his thoughts really much… he never let himself think about his past too much. But this time, he could let her soothe his soul.

Break emerged from his thoughts as saw small tremors coursing through Miss Sharon's body; barely noticeable but there nonetheless. It was true, the manor could get chilly during the first winter days…

How amusing, how roles could be reversed; Shelly took care of him, it was now his turn to take care of her child. He went to search the blanket on the couch, in the middle of the room.

Yes, it was truly surprising how much the Rainsworth ladies could have an effect on him. In the silence of this room, with no one but the sleeping lady as company, Xerxes felt good. Dare he say in peace? He knew that moment would disappear like any others, so he chose to enjoy it instead of trying to rationalize it. Everyday's torment would come back early enough.

He made his way to Sharon again and put the blanket on her shoulders – using his proximity to take the book from under her head. The miss could sleep like a rock, fortunately for the valet who didn't want to suffer her wrath if he accidently woke her up! Well, she didn't care about being woken up as much as she cared about what would Break do or think while she was asleep… last time she saw him at her bedside, he received a fan-attack at his face.

Better let her sleep. Really.

The girl moved a bit to find a better position; now that she lost her book cushion, she put her head on her arms, a little sigh escaping her. It didn't escape Xerxes's attention and he laugh quietly in the sleeve of his coat. Sure of his mistress's comfort – well, relative comfort, sleeping on a desk would bring her some soreness at her awakening but, for his own sake, Break would not try to take her bridal-style as he did some years ago, - he took a bookmark and placed it between to pages of the book to close it. He stopped in his movement when a word caught his eye and broke the blessed calm in his mind.

Sharon was studying Illegal Contractors. It was her responsibility as Eques's Contractor and heir of the Rainsworth house to be educated in many things. She had to know the stories of the criminals Pandora tried to stop. Know these foul creatures who killed for their own gain.

The page on which Sharon fell asleep was Kevin Regnard's.

Break almost burst out laughing. What a coincidence! What an aberration! The monster hidden between the lines of her book was at her side, oh so alive, wandering around her sleeping form like a ghost of the past. She was learning to fear the Red-Eyed Specter without even realizing he was the one she called her big brother. It was a shameful irony and it sapped Break's morale.

The Hatter knew his doings were unforgivable. He took the lives of so many people, innocent people, and what did he receive at the end? Nothing, if another victim to add to his count. He shouldn't be able to enjoy the calm he felt not a second ago or Sharon's affection towards him. It was not his right to.

Still… Break couldn't shake off a dread at the thought of Sharon reading his past. She didn't know it was him. Nothing would change between the two of them. The disgust she would feel while reading these pages (these hundred of deaths, this blood bath) would be felt towards an unkwown entity. And all she could think or say about him would be deserved. He should accept it, embrace it like another expiation for his sins. Still…

He did not want her to know. Or maybe _he_ did not want to know. Know which words she would use to describe him (no. To describe Kevin, not Xerxes. But where was the line?), which expression would inhabit her face (Horror? Hate? Disgust?)…

Oh, how it could hurt. His hand went to his heart (not his heart, said a little voice. His Seal) as if this would change anything. The book fell on the floor with a thump; Break's eye went to Sharon. Her own sleepy eyes were on him.

He smiled.

-Break…?

-Miss Sharon! I didn't want to wake you up.

She yawned and tried to get the sleep out of her eyes; no trace of panic in her, so Break could at least be assured she would not try to attack him with her harisen. Sharon smiled back at him, never seeing the pain gnawing at him. She didn't have any chance to, with her sleepy mind and the way Break pulled himself together. The young woman stretched and hid herself even more in the blanket.

-Don't you want to get some real sleep? Your activities can wait to tomorrow.

He retrieved the disgusting book from the floor.

-What time is it?

-We're just past eight, but you seem exhausted.

Book in his hands, Break passed by Sharon to get to the library, smile on his lips. He put it between two volumes under the scrutinizing gaze of the girl. What did she witness? Too much silence, not enough jokes? What could she see in the man she thought she knew so well?

-I am still able to study. It was but a nap! And what are you doing here?

-Me? Ah, right! I came here to hide myself, you see, I just brought some paperwork to our dear Reim and they need to be completed for tomorrow morning… and still! Instead of starting this work, he began chasing me all around the place!

The Hatter hid his smile behind his sleeve, his eye showing mirth nonetheless.

-Poor Reim, you'll exhaust him _again_!

-Nah, he's a big boy~ It's not my fault he prefers to play hide and seek instead of taking his responsibilities!

-Your responsibilities, Break.

-Same difference~

-Ah, since you're here, can you get me tea? And give me back my book?

-Of course, but if I'm not back in the next thirty minutes, you'll know that I have been attacked by the big bad Reim!

-You're hopeless, laughed Sharon as she took the volume the man brought her.

Break walked out of the room, closed the door behind him and let his facade fade away. He sighed, counted one, two, three seconds, ran an hand in his hair and started to walk. He had to go to the kitchen. He also had to get a grip and stop being pathetic; wanting retributions but fearing consequences, hoping to change while being stuck in the past, trying to understand himself while knowing it was a lost cause.

He only knew himself like the corridors he walked in : dark, empty, haunted by silent ghosts and moving shadows.

Before he even realized, Xerxes was back where he came from, teacup in his hand. He knocked on the door and entered without waiting for an answer; Sharon could lose herself in a lecture quite easily. So he put the cup on her desk, heard mumbling he took for a thank you and turned away to escape the room. His hand touched the handle as he heard Sharon's little voice call him.

-Break, are you alright?

Ah, she truly was like her mother. As caring and attentive. He turned his head so she could see his smile.

-You saw right through me! I think I've caught a cold. With winter's coming I'm not surprised~

-I told you to take a coat this morning… you never listen to me!

-Indeed!

-Break?

The voice of the Miss became fragile in an instant. Break gave her his entire attention.

-What do you think of Illegal Contractors?

The subject he wanted to avoid. He frowned, his face contorting as if he ate one of his particulary acidic candies (he kept them for people he didn't like but, well, errors could happen sometimes).

-They are disturbed monsters of selfishness and you shouldn't have to read about them.

-Selfishness? You think they all do this for themselves?

His gaze became harsher.

-Everyone of them. Believe me, do not try to excuse their deeds.

-I'm not trying to excuse anything! I only want to understand why people like you and me could do something as desperate as this. You never thought about that?

How the lady could be cruel! How innocence could be painful! Even the smile he forced on his dry lips was difficult.

-Never, Milady. Now, if you would excuse me…

Before Sharon even had the time to answer, Break was gone.


End file.
